Post by El Loco on Oct 8, 2009 14:34:54 GMT
I think this has been around a while but still worth a smile:
A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to
take a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the
time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,
nothing, only bananas, coconuts and the few fish that he managed to
catch.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore on a boat. In
disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?'
She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here
when my cruise ship sank a few months ago.'
'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a rowing boat wash
up with you.'
'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made this boat out of raw
materials that I found on the other side of the island.. There's lots of
wood, palms and vines.
'But, where did you get the tools?'
'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'I found a very unusual
stratum of alluvial rock. I used that for tools.
The guy is stunned.
'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of rowing,
she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he
nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walkway leading to an
exquisite hut painted in yellow and white.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
the man can only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house,
she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please.
Would you like a drink?'
'No thank you,' he mumbles, still dazed. 'I can't take any more coconut
juice.'
'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I've managed to ferment some
alcohol. How would you like a Pina Colada?'
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit
down to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going
to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower
and shave? There's a lovely fountain outside and I've made a razor out
of tortoise bone..'
No longer surprised by anything, the man goes to shower and shave.
'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'Whatever will it be next?'
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to
sit down next to her.
'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've
been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm
sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing
for?'
She stares provocatively into his eyes ...
He swallows excitedly and tears start to well-up in his eyes.....
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'F*****g hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?
;D ;D ;D
M.